Author Archives: thevirginheartbreaker

An open letter to my first love

Posted on by

I spent the weekend crying. I don’t like to show emotions… well, mainly painful ones. Denial seems to work… until it doesn’t. I was shocked to learn you were no longer here. My mind fully couldn’t comprehend it. Though it had been a few years since we had talked, I had comfort in knowing you were always here. You were always one message away. You were always there.

I know some breakups seem cleaner than ours was. Our on again off again relationship drug out over the course of four years. I don’t think people realized that. I don’t think we realized that until I read over my journals. I’m thankful I wrote so much down, especially now. Among all our pain and hurt, neither of us really wanted to let go.

I think first loves are a special type of bond. I don’t think either of us fully comprehended what love really was yet. We were still learning. Learning who each other were, learning who we really were. I remember running into you after our final breakup. It was almost as if nothing had changed and all our love and care for one another was still there. It was as if we only could remember the good, as if the bad never existed. Our relationship was marked by so much forgiveness.

You had a heart of gold and there was always such a sweetness in your eyes. You always made me feel safe. I hope you know how much I loved you. I hope you know how much I prayed for you.

I now know God answered my prayers.

Your prayer from a little over a month ago, “You are a good God. Help me to understand this daily. Help me to spread Your love and minister to others for Your Glory. Let my story be not in vain but to help others. Keep me from temptation. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen”

It was asked at your celebration of life- why does it seem like the good go early while the bad seem to live on. I had often wondered that too. But the man who spoke said God desires for everyone to go to heaven, for no one to truly see death (hell). So maybe it was okay since we know where you are going, where you are now… and maybe He wants to give those who are lost a little more time to come to Him. I believe that. I know where you are. And there is so much peace and comfort in knowing that.

Death separates. I think that is why it is so painful. But we do not sorrow as those with no hope. And we would be the most miserable if this life was our only hope.

But you are not separated.

You are not gone.

Death is so devastating because we view this life as life. But this isn’t life. Physical separation in this life cannot compare to an eternal separation in the next. We weren’t made for this life but another. And you are already there.

I miss you, but I’ll see you soon.

I didn’t like who I was becoming

Posted on by

Can someone really change you? I don’t like the idea of giving someone that power, but it makes sense when you think about it. Maybe that is why the scripture in 1 Corinthians 15:33 says “bad company will corrupt good character.” It’s naïve to think the people we surround ourselves with don’t have any impact on us.

I remember distinctively one of my exes saying to me, “you’ve changed.” And he was right. I had changed. And I didn’t like who I was becoming. The reality he didn’t want to face and the truth I didn’t want to admit was that I had adapted my behavior and actions to the way things had changed in our relationship. I could no longer be the same person I was once unless I chose to live in denial. It felt like survival of the fittest.

Two words I would use to describe my natural state and who I am at the core is joy and freedom. I trust freely until someone gives me a reason not to and then a wall the size of Taj Mahal goes up almost within an instant. As much as I am open, I’m equally guarded in that respect.

It started with finding out about an addiction he had been keeping from me. I had felt something was off, but I had no evidence to support the tension that had infiltrated our relationship. It some ways I felt validated after finding this out. Trust shaved slightly. I had convinced myself he was just scared of my reaction, that I maybe wouldn’t have given him a chance if I had known prior. It’s funny how we take on the responsibility of others’ actions when we aren’t quite ready to let go.

That was the beginning of the unraveling. The stories about his past and his reasoning behind certain decisions seemed to contradict one another. Misalignment marked our times with one another. Confusion and fighting trumped any moments of fleeting happiness. I think I was pushing for something that wasn’t even possible.

We often think about the last straw in a relationship, but I think those first straws are just as important, as they initiate doubt and plant seeds that another path may be possible, may be needed.

I was really struggling to connect emotionally with him. I had a hard time connecting these newfound truths to the person I thought I knew. But trying to connect proved futile and exhausting. I remember him clearly telling me he was like an onion, and I need to peel back the layers. The irony wasn’t lost in the analogy, as this process always left me in tears. I was becoming a nag. I was becoming pushy. I was becoming someone I did not like. And it was painful. However, in some sick way he liked it. I think it made him feel like I cared… but it was always at my expense.

I’ve learned that who we are becoming in a relationship is just as important as who they are becoming. Do they bring the best out in us? Do they make us better- do they make us want to be better?

Thankfully, I am back to my old self again. And hopefully, I’ll soon be better than who I am right now.

Dating at 37 is hard

Posted on by

I downloaded two dating apps over the Christmas break- Hinge and Upward. I couldn’t make myself do anymore than that. I do not like the concept of Bumble before anyone asks. I have yet to open either of the two apps I downloaded, which by default means I haven’t even set up my profiles yet. I’ve been thinking about why I haven’t. I’m scared. Scared of the unknown. I was reflecting on the guys that are in my life currently and wondering if I should try to make it work with any of them. At least I know the good and the bad of each. Dating nowadays is like playing Russian roulette- you really don’t know where you will fall or land. You hope it’s good. Yet, my past experiences have taught me that I have a history of losing. Which for me, pushes me to quit the game.

It’s a strange feeling to have both the desire to get married and have children but also wanting to avoid the pain the process of getting there often brings. I feel like I’ve been a part of the process for so long already. At what point am I supposed to quit? I had someone recently say to me that if I put as much work into my dating/relationship life as I did other aspects of my life I probably would have been married already. I felt that. But I’ve also had a difficult time defining what that work is supposed to look like. I feel like I’ve worked on myself… a lot. I feel like I have put myself out there… a lot. What more am I supposed to do? Why do I feel like I keep getting it wrong? I feel like Taylor Swift- hi, it’s me. I’m the problem it’s me.

Rather than thinking there is something wrong, what if it just isn’t the right time? What if the answer isn’t no, just not yet? I’ve thought about that a lot lately. I think we create these timelines in our head and when things don’t happen when we think they are supposed to, we assume God has failed us… God forgot about us. God forgot about me. But what if He didn’t forget about us. What if He has been working this whole time- what if He has been here the whole time?

If I’m being honest, I don’t really believe I will meet my husband on a dating app. I can already hear people saying, “well you probably won’t with that attitude!” I get it and maybe I’m just not there yet. But I DO believe it is a necessary step to put myself out there and open my heart once again. Every time I go through a break-up I want to give up on dating. The pain is real, and the feelings are raw. The happy ending doesn’t seem worth the potential heartbreak. But each time, after I’m healed and whole yet again, I do put myself out there. Because I know deep down the only other way to live is with no feelings at all. Protected, safe, and secure, but empty, cold, and dead. And that is no way to live. 

-Sarah:)

Don’t date for marriage

Posted on by

Those who know me are probably confused by this title. This is the complete opposite of what I teach, of what I preach. But stick with me here.

I’ve made this mistake before in the past. Going into dating with a marriage mindset.

I had horrible dates.
I was constantly disappointed.
And I made a TON of excuses.

He is more of a homebody. He just isn’t great with compliments. He is not big into gifts. He’s busy. He’s had a long day.

Every. Excuse. Possible. I was miserable… but yet I stayed. I even remember saying to myself one time “Most people have a really tough year their first year of marriage; we are just getting our year out of the way while we are dating.” WHAT.

How did I allow this to happen for so long?

Because instead of seeing if I actually liked a person, I was trying to see if they fit the mold of my ideal husband.

And when things he told me “seemed” to align with how I pictured my future marriage, I allowed my heart to already marry him. It’s much harder to separate from someone you have already married in your heart. I was checking off boxes while simultaneously letting my guard down. And before I knew it, I had already given my heart before ever truly getting to know the person.

By the time you realize you don’t even like the person, it is too late. We’ve gone off words and what we wanted to hear. So much so that when actions start to reveal what is true, we turn the other way, determined to make it work. We’ve committed in our hearts and to leave now seems more painful, more difficult, than staying.

This method proved detrimental for me. It would take months for me to finally realize I didn’t actually like the guy. So, after some time, I finally realized I needed to take marriage off the table. Not permanently, but immediately. I needed to see if I could even have fun with the person. Listen, I’m not even saying similar interests. And I’m not saying to compromise your faith for fun, but you need to see if there is an interest at all. A desire to get to know the other person. A curiosity. Excitement. A level of joy.

When you take marriage off the table, you release so much unnecessary pressure. You get to know a person for the sake of simply getting to know a person. How they think. How they view the world. How they view others. How they view themselves. And then, and only then, can it potentially grow into something more as you start to see core morals and values align. You start to see why you got along so well in the first place.

Have guys really become more passive or are they just not interested?

Posted on by

There’s been a call lately toward men for them to reject passivity. For them to step up and be men and pursue women once again. However, as men were told to focus on their careers and as women’s empowerment has progressed, things have become grey to say the least. And the messages throughout both the Christian and secular circles have become intertwined with a mix of “Women, don’t be afraid to make the first move” to “Men, quit being passive and pursue.”

As a female, I’ve pondered how to navigate this dynamic from my core beliefs alongside how society is today. When I consider myself a strong, independent woman, while at the same time believing the man is the leader of the home. How do I let a guy know I’m interested while still knowing deep down that I desire to be pursued? Am I asking too much? Is it appropriate to be frustrated at the idea of potentially taking the lead under the guise of “times have changed?” Do I join the circle of angry females that want men to step up and quit being passive?

All of these thoughts have led me to ask the question: Have the good men really become more passive or are they just not interested?

One of my guy friends put it this way:

There was a time when I knew girls were interested in me, but I was seen as shy or standoffish. I think in society today we see girls becoming more forward or chasing guys under the guise of wanting to ensure guys know they are interested, under the guise of wanting to be seen. I’m sure there are some guys out that are having a difficult time navigating the different dating dynamics but for me, it’s been less about me being passive and more about simply not being interested. As someone who seeks to date intentionally, I am hesitant to pursue if I can’t follow through. And what I mean by this is, is that for men looking to date toward marriage, it does not seem wise to pursue or potentially lead someone on if there are things evident that I am not looking for in a marriage partner. And on the outside, this may look a lot like passivity.

When I find someone that does interest me, however, the passive side seems to become irrelevant as a desire to pursue overshadows the perceived fear of an eventual end. The passive persona quickly changes to pursuit but has little to do with a girl’s actions and more to do with who she is deep to her core. I cannot be convinced to pursue. Maybe at first to pacify my ego, but that never lasts.

While the potential for it not working out in the long run is there, men will naturally pursue when they find what they are looking for. When they find someone they believe is worth pursuing. These thoughts remind me of a quote I saw from Mandy Hale:

Men aren’t “holding back.” They’re not scared. They’re not overwhelmed by the intensity of their feelings for you. They’re not “too busy with work.” They’re not unsure if they can give you what you “deserve.” If they are not acting interested, they are genuinely not interested.

So are we really mad that the guys are passive- or are we just upset that they aren’t interested in us? Because the right guy will be interested. And that interest will fuel pursuit.

Undivided

Posted on by

For those who know me well, know how much of a planner I am. I love lists, to-dos, and goal setting. I’ve made new year resolutions, bucket lists, 30 before 30, 30 in the 30’s, and even just random monthly or weekly things I hope to accomplish. I never fully complete a list, but they always push me toward aspirations I hope to accomplish. I was looking back at some of my previous lists and it’s amazing to see the difference between now and then and how God showed up in unexpected ways…

Meet Tim Tebow… I met him three times
Finish PhD… I graduated in 2018
Start a blog… here we are:)
Get paid to speak… I have my first keynote in a month
Read through the entire Bible… I now lead a Facebook group of over 400 (!!!) people who aim to do the same each year

In addition to lists and actions related to my goals, I come up with a word for the year. I started doing this is 2017 and these are the words I chose:

2017 Intentional
2018 Pray & Finish
2019 Release
2020 Hope & Vision
2021 Abide

They almost never evolve the ways in which I anticipate. But this year was one where I held close to Christ. I had to. It started out heading in a direction I felt so confident in, yet quickly unraveled before my eyes. It can become tricky to reconcile what we believe God showed us with what God is currently showing us- especially when the two don’t align. I’ve since learned not to make presumptions upon God. God has also been teaching me a lot about perspective. Where I see disappointment, He sees a rescue. Where I see failures, He sees growth. And when all seems hopeless, He pushes me to remain hopeful. I’m learning to let go. I’m learning to give up control. And I’m learning to trust, hope, believe, and have faith in greater capacities. My prayer has always been to grow. Grow in holiness. Grow in strength. Grow in righteousness and become perfected before Him. And sometimes I may forget that to grow in those areas we need to be stretched and often uncomfortable. But it’s worth it. It’s always worth it. It can be a painful process to go through the molding and the chiseling, but the end result is always so beautiful.

One word keeps crossing my mind as we enter 2022: Undivided. Part of 2021 and part of my frustrations stemmed from one feeling: divided. Situations I found myself in left me feeling divided, like something was going to have to give. Peace seemed further and further away as confusion clouded my vision. To continue down the path I was headed, I was going to have to compromise when it came to my relationship with Christ. Though it may not have looked that way on the surface, I felt it deep in my spirit. And it made it even more difficult when I had believed God led me to my current situation. While God may allow certain circumstances, it doesn’t always mean it’s His best. Though situations may be from God, the outcomes may look different than we anticipate. So I had to let go, even though not fully understanding. I had to move back toward Christ. Back toward peace. It reminds me of how Noah built the ark, though he fully didn’t understand why at the time. I think that is where God wants us. Fully trusting, undivided devotion.

“Undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:35) is where my heart is really at. And it’s the only place I want to be.  

Still single

Posted on by

1E167925-D64B-4C8C-BB00-1ED1D8C00ADB_1_105_c

I turned 35 yesterday. Depending on who you talk to, some will say I’m getting old, others will say I have my whole life ahead of me. For me, the numbers signify how many years I may have left to have kids someday. It was never my intention to be single at this age. I thought for sure I’d be married with five kids… at least two… at least married. I’ve come close. My early 20’s were part of my timeline and I was dating a cute guy who was in the military. While some can get married that young, we were too young. We didn’t know what we were doing. We didn’t know yet who we were. But being young wasn’t our only problem. My faith was his faith and as much as we cared about each other, we had different priorities. Different values.

Could we have gotten married and made it work? Yea, I think so. But just making it work doesn’t sound so appealing to me. That can’t be why God created marriage.

The following years were a wheel of rotating dates, rotating guys, no real commitment. I was so hopeful, so naïve. But how could I commit to someone I can’t see myself marrying? The truth would always reveal itself sooner or later. For me it averaged within 3 months. We’ve become so accustomed to wearing masks, afraid to show each other our true selves for fear of rejection, that we never really get close to anyone. And by the time we’re ready to peel back the layers it’s already too late. None of these guys were right for me anyway. I had to end things with the ones I knew weren’t right. And for the ones I wasn’t ready to let go of, God allowed them to reject me. And when they came back, because they always seem to come back, I had already received the closure I needed to move on. It’s crazy to think how something you thought you wanted so bad is the same thing you are thanking God for protecting you from.

When 30 hit, I was certain my time was right around the corner. So certain that I allowed myself to get into the most abusive relationship to date. Thankfully not physically, but sometimes I can still see the effects. I had never seen abuse, so I wasn’t able to recognize it until I was already in too deep. By the grace of God, I was able to leave. It’s crazy to think about the things you put up with if you think they are leading you to what you desire and crave.

Could we have gotten married and made it work? I don’t think so. I would have lost myself in the process.

As I reflect, it’s hard not to look at these relationships as failures. Wasted time. Empty promises. Pain. Hurt. And let downs. But isn’t that what dating is designed to do? The only alternative is to get married, and that outcome would have been so much worse. I can’t be the wife that gets married to check off a box.

I’ve sometimes worried if maybe I’m too much for some guys. They know they’d always come second to my first love, Jesus. Maybe I’ve pushed guys away. Maybe I’m too passionate about politics, making a difference. Too crazy. Too outgoing. Maybe my blog scares them away. I’ve been told to stop wearing my purity ring. I’ve been told to lower my standards. That I’m too picky.  I’ve been called a holy roller. Too intense. Too much.

But the truth is, if I have to change who I am, I don’t really want to be married as bad as I think I do. I just want to be me. The me that God created me to be.

So I wait.
Wait for peace.
Wait for clarity.
Wait for no doubts.
And maybe that day never comes.  

I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever get married, but what I do know is Jesus is worth it. He is worth having all my hopes and dreams. He knows what I ultimately desire and I trust Him. As time passes, it can be easy to question or allow doubt to creep in, but God knows my heart. And my heart belongs to Him. It always will.

signature

 

If you’re afraid of long-distance relationships

Posted on by

man-and-woman-forming-heart-hand-shape-1066801

I was talking to one of my friends not too long ago. He had recently joined a dating website. When I asked him about his luck, he said a few girls had reached out, but they all lived far away. We then proceeded into a discussion about why that discouraged him. After experiencing some failed long-distance relationships, I think he placed the blame for the failure on the distance rather than the people involved.

That is where the mistake often happens.

I’ve been in a couple long-distance relationships (LDRs) and I can confidently say the distance was not our demise. If anything, it held us together longer than it should have. And I think that is the real con to long-distance relationships because it can take a little longer to really get to see who someone is if they haven’t been truthful upfront.

But I understand there are many things people don’t like about long-distance relationships- can’t go out on a whim, limited physical touch, can’t really observe one another in group settings often, and just the little things that happen by being able to be around each other. It’s just different. Perhaps harder. But I’ve learned what’s really hard is not being with the right person. And I think if we get honest with ourselves, we will realize it was never the process; it was always the person.

Even though there are cons to LDRs, there are also benefits. I think sometimes the distance has a way of bringing out underlying issues that were already there, that perhaps you weren’t able to pick up on because you were around each other all the time. Especially when it comes to insecurity. Insecurity will quickly surface in long-distance relationships. But so can transparency and communication. You can feel more connected to someone miles away than you can with the person lying next to you.

Boundaries- you already have a built-in distance boundary that allows you to foster growth in other areas; it gives you space to grow as an individual before growing as one together.
Physical- the temptation to compromise in your physical boundaries can lessen.
Deep conversations- as a different dynamic is formed, you have to potential to go deeper quicker.
Creativity- since distance is there, you get to find more ways to be creative in your efforts to show that you care.
Special moments- they say absence makes the heart grow fonder so the times you get to spend together create some of the best memories of your life.

The bottom line is you never want to discount someone for things that can change. Our willingness of whether or not we choose to engage in a long-distance relationship shows where our values lie. I ended up telling my friend he should give those girls a chance if he values quality over convenience. But maybe that has to do more with my values than his. I know the type of guy I am looking for. I know what I am willing to compromise on. And I’d much rather be in a long-distance relationship with that guy than a relationship closer to home that doesn’t impact me the same way. Because at the end of the day, it’s never about where you are but rather who you are with that matters most.

signature

To those who are lonely this Valentine’s Day

Posted on by

woman-looking-at-sea-while-sitting-on-beach-247314

I spent the morning scrolling through Facebook and Instagram looking at all the Vday posts. Such a diverse group of dynamic posts. The mushy, lovey dovey posts, proudly showing off their love- at least the love they wish to present to the world. Then there’s the stream of sarcastic and comical jokes that always make me laugh. Lastly, there are the posts that are full of so much sadness, they call Valentine’s Day the worst day and vow to stay off social media today in order to avoid getting depressed. This is just a small sampling of the lives lived every day.

Valentine’s Day has always been one of my favorite holidays- not a one day of the year to shower those with love, but rather an opportunity to celebrate the beauty of love that already exists in relationships. It was hard for me to not get mad or almost judge those who were putting down my favorite holiday. Until I realized I used to be them- I just expressed my frustrations and disappointments differently.

I was fixated on having the perfect Valentine’s Day every year. This was my goal whether I was single or dating. This led to a wide variety of Valentine Day experiences.

One year I made the perfect Valentine’s Day candy poem card. I spent so much time on it, I just knew the guy I was dating would love it. I remember mentioning the card to him later and he had already eaten all the candy and threw the card away. Okay. Maybe just not that sentimental… or maybe he just wasn’t my person. Our relationship was the definition of the right things with the wrong person.

One year I went on a first date for Valentine’s Day. With someone I had zero compatibility with. But I didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. So instead I was stuck for hours with someone I had no interest in. But hey, at least I wasn’t alone… insert eye roll emoji here.

The year finally came where I thought I had the perfect date. Potentially someone I would marry. The perfect dinner reservations. Posts and pics to make my friends envious. What everyone else didn’t know was that I had to beg him to take a picture of me in my new dress. And the only way he agreed was if I promised not to post the picture because he didn’t think the dress was modest enough. That we almost missed our reservations because we had to stop at one of his favorite stores first so he could buy himself some stuff. I was controlled the entire relationship and almost lost my own identity.

It’s easy to feel like loneliness and singleness are the worst things in the world. But I’ve learned they aren’t. What’s worse is when we pretend. When we stay in relationships never meant for us. When we compromise our peace in order to check off a box. There were several years I had a valentine, but I was still left unhappy. Empty. Lonely. The pictures with a hundred likes weren’t worth it. Pretend validation, pretend worth, pretend everything. It just wasn’t worth it.

I wasn’t craving a valentine; I wasn’t even craving not being alone. I was craving love and every situation just left me wanting more.

Now, I just want real love, not the pretend stuff I settled with for so long.

I finally realized I was doing all the love experiences with all the wrong people. And that’s why I was left so empty, so sad, and so disappointed. So much love to give… and it was all delivered to the wrong guys. So instead of continuously throwing around my attempts to give love to those who were never meant to receive it, I now wait. I wait in hope and anticipation. That the love I’ve given wasn’t in vain. That it’s showed me what’s not for me, so I’ll be better equipped to recognize what is. It’s taught me wait for the one that can reciprocate with the same love I hope to give. And that it’s in this waiting that I feel more content than I ever did with the realities I experienced of fake fronts, shallow relationships, dull dates, and experiences that always left me wanting more- something deeper- real peace-  true love.

signature

5 questions to ask yourself before committing to a relationship

Posted on by

man-in-gray-coat-carrying-woman-wearing-pink-coat-in-beach-698885

I have a hard time committing, I’ll admit it. But part of the reason is it’s hard for me to commit to someone if I don’t see a potential future with them. The break-up process is a painful one no matter how it happens, so if there are ways to avoid that, you better believe I’m all about it! In an effort to minimize heartbreak and stay focused on what matters most, there are five questions you should ask yourself before committing.

  1. Would I want my kids to be like them? This question allows you look beyond the outer layers of attraction and excitement and really see a person’s character. Are they kind? Loving? Giving? Value humility and purity? Do they show respect and honor? Or are they rebellious? Rude? Selfish? Or easily angered? It is so easy to be blinded and want to nurture infatuation feelings, but the truth is, the person you marry will have a significant amount of influence over your kids- and you! You want to trust that they will be a good role model and train up your children in the right direction.
  2. Would I want to be with them if we couldn’t have kids? This is a hard question to ask but a much needed one. As I started to get older, I started to question whether or not I should attempt to compromise on my standards for the sake of not letting my best child-bearing years pass me by. And then I realized how horrible this thought process is. And I also realized how many people I know who did get married because they wanted kids so badly and are now divorced. While kids are a blessing, having kids with the wrong spouse can be detrimental. Furthermore, there is no guarantee on even getting pregnant so it is vitally important to be with someone you would want by your side to help you through that process should it happen. The person you commit to should be a commitment for life, someone you want with you through all the good and bad.
  3. Am I growing closer to God or further away? There are people that will come into our lives that you will help and mentor, others that are acquaintances, and others that’ll challenge you to be the best version of yourself. The person you commit to should fall into the third category. This is why it is imperative for believers to be equally yoked with other believers, those who will help them with the temptations in this world. You want someone who will pray with you, call you out, and support you. If the person you are with is pushing you in a direction of compromising your faith, morals, and/or values, it is not a good sign.
  4. Do I feel more myself around them? This is oftentimes why people say the best relationships start out as friendships. You want to be able to be your true, authentic self without fear of rejection or judgement. Some people have a way of calming our insecurities, while others heighten them. If your relationship with someone starts out with a date, do your best to alleviate the pressure of a looming relationship no matter how old you are for the sake of building a stronger foundation should things progress. A relationship built on attempts to impress will not be able to withstand the challenges of everyday life. Furthermore, when you are with the right person, the pressure to perform should diminish as their passions and words ignite your passions and words, resulting in a fire lit deep within your soul. This is not something you can force, and no checklist can accomplish this.
  5. Do they love Jesus more than me? This is crucial. So many people seek someone who will love them most, not realizing the need for loving Jesus most in order to adequately love you. A love for Jesus will naturally result in love for you because it will become part of who they are. Jesus is love so a love for others is a natural result. When someone seeks to love outside of these parameters, love then hinges on who you are, your actions, and their feelings toward you, thus resulting in an unspoken pressure to perform. This environment is the breeding ground for insecurity, with no true stability. Someone who is able to love, honor, and respect God will be able to love you the only way you truly desire to be loved.

signature

Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels