While I have mixed feelings about checklists, these notes-to-self serve as reminders and guidelines to help me remember truths I have learned from past relationships.

1. Avoid any physical aspect for as long as possible in a relationship; this will ensure you really like them and not just those feelings.
2. Ask yourself if it’s him you like or just the idea of him.
3. Try your hardest to not default to guys you know like you to feed your ego during a break-up. Use this precious time to run to God.
4. Trust those gut feelings (Holy Spirit) and be brave enough to walk away when you know something doesn’t feel right.
5. Be strong enough to not make excuses; brave enough to acknowledge red flags.
6. If talking about God pulls you apart rather than bring you together, run!
7. Be with someone that truly values and appreciates your best qualities.
8. You shouldn’t have to talk yourself into it…
9. Respect and trust for him will either increase or decrease- watch for this and adjust appropriately.
10. Wait for someone who can love, support, respect, and challenge you and knows how to balance the four correctly.
11. Love is and always will be the most important thing. You’ll be able to recognize it; he’ll either have it or he won’t.
12. If he views it as a sacrifice, it isn’t love; love trumps all.
13. Be with someone who doesn’t give you the option to say no to something he knows you really want/desire.
14. It will be easy for him to give you attention in one-on-one settings; watch how he treats you when you in groups.
15. Be with someone who loves you as Crist love the church; after God, and because of God, you will be his #1.
16. Never be with someone who demeans, belittles, or judges you.
17. He must have a personal relationship with Christ.
18. He will never attempt to question your relationship with Christ or come between it.
19. Wait for someone who is humble. Genuinely humble, not just says he is. Always desiring to learn, grow, and be better than he was yesterday- together.
20. There is a difference between doing things out of love and out of obedience.
21. If I don’t feel loved, I’m probably not. Excuses do get old.
22. Be with someone who cares about my feelings, even if they aren’t always right.
23. Wait for someone who is proud of me and who I am proud of.
24. Be with someone who could live without me but will fight and do whatever he can to make sure he doesn’t have to.
25. Be with someone who enjoys being with me.
26. He will know what Ephesians 5 means.
27. He will understand that one of the greatest things he can do for his kids will be to love their mother/his wife.
28. Wait for someone who gets excited about God with me.
29. He will be someone I want to submit to.
30. Don’t rush the relationship. Wait. Watch. And enjoy. Time will tell.
31. Can I see him being my best friend?
32. Wait for someone that will encourage me to lead and teach and do what God is calling me to do.
33. Don’t be with someone who is legalistic but does have strong morals, values, and convictions.
34. The thing he will love most about me is my heart for Christ.
35. He will love me as much as I love him because we will both have Christ’s love.
36. He will fell like the luckiest guy in the world to have me and I will feel the same.
37. Wait for someone that will challenge me to be better but love me no matter what; love is unconditional.
38. Watch for someone who is proactive and offers to help and solve problems before you even realize you needed help.
39. Never judgmental but pushes you to grow in love.
40. Wait for the one that truly believes that you were worth the wait.
41. Don’t let anyone abuse you- physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.
42. You will have fun with him no matter what you are doing.
43. He won’t have any unhealthy bromances.
44. Always step back and wait to see if you really like him or you are just emotionally attached; there should be definitive things you like about him.
45. In the beginning you will see actions; in time, you will see motives.
46. Time heals. God heals. Sometimes you’ll have to wait for God to mend your heart. Sometimes you’ll have to wait for your feelings to catch up with what you already know deep down.
47. Wait for someone who initiates and sacrifices.
48. A real man will use his power to love.
49. He will value godly things above worldly accomplishments; he will understand God’s heart.
50. I won’t have any doubts and I’ll just know.

-the virgin heartbreaker

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